Engaged to be married/Cultural differences?

Discuss here anything that does not already have its own Forum.

Moderator: Moderator

User avatar
Pelican
Mega User!
Mega User!
Posts: 1818
Location: Pelican Lake Guesthouse Srebarna
Contact:

Engaged to be married/Cultural differences?

Postby Pelican » Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:47 pm

An English friend of mine has asked my advice/opinion about his intention to ask his Bulgarian partner to become engaged in marriage to him. They are both around 60 and secure in their relationship.

He wants to take this move in an attempt to cement their relationship, without commiting himself fully to permanent and legally binding wedlock.

My take on the matter is that in Bulgaria a formal engagement would be viewed as the first stage in a process leading inevitably to wedding bells. His idea is to reassure his partner that he is committed to her and their life together.

If any of you ladies are doubting my friends commitment to his new partner I should add that he has put in place arrangements to ensure that she will inherit his estate in the eventuality of his untimely demise.

Is there a compromise? He wants her to know that he loves her and is devoted but without causing either of them legal hassles.

So diamond ring and flowers....or.....don't rock the boat?

User avatar
leedarkwood
Mega User!
Mega User!
Posts: 5139
Contact:

Postby leedarkwood » Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:59 pm

He should ask her what her views are!

What has he got against the idea of marriage if he is that committed? There are a lot of benefits to marriage.

Personally I wouldn't be that struck with someone telling me that they wanted to be engaged to me but not married. It would raise a lot of questions in my mind! Far from proving a commitment it would suggest the exact opposite to me! So if he doesn't want to be married I think he should leave well alone! Only my opinion, it is her opinion that matters here!

User avatar
demoboy
<b>Tradesman</b>
Posts: 288
Location: somerset

Postby demoboy » Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:08 pm

Hi Peli, Tell the man to enjoy life, No point in being the richest man in the grave yard, shrouds ain't got pockets, go for it

User avatar
tandt
Mega User!
Mega User!
Posts: 1502
Location: South Yorkshire
Contact:

Re: Engaged to be married/Cultural differences?

Postby tandt » Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:11 pm

[quote="Pelican"]

He wants to take this move in an attempt to cement their relationship, without commiting himself fully to permanent and legally binding wedlock.

quote]

Hi Peli,
isn't engagement a legally binding contract ? I seem to remember that people have been sued for breaking off engagements without due reason. Or maybe that was America, where you can sue anyone's ars* off for anything. Or maybe it was in Mongolia. :lol:
Trev.

User avatar
mickeyh
Senior Member
Senior Member
Posts: 56
Location: co durham/kas,turkey/kranevo

Postby mickeyh » Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:17 pm

demoboy wrote:Hi Peli, Tell the man to enjoy life, No point in being the richest man in the grave yard, shrouds ain't got pockets, go for it


lol, lol ....nice one

User avatar
Pelican
Mega User!
Mega User!
Posts: 1818
Location: Pelican Lake Guesthouse Srebarna
Contact:

Postby Pelican » Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:25 pm

Hey only 30 or 40 minutes in and I'm already sorry that I bothered to ask.

:lol: Could be a record?

User avatar
kazz
<b>Country Advisor/Property Finder</b>
Posts: 1273
Location: Veliko Tarnovo
Contact:

Postby kazz » Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:11 pm

I'm confused.....not that this is unusual!

I thought an engagement was an agreement between two people to marry at some future date. If your friend doesn't want to be married I don't see how he can honestly undertake an engagement.
(I have this image of 'I want to be pregnant but I don't want to give birth! )

I'm not doubting your friends intentions but it doesn't sound as if he's thought this one through! :lol:

User avatar
Moscow_Wolf
Mega User!
Mega User!
Posts: 4532
Location: Near Karnobat

Postby Moscow_Wolf » Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:42 pm

If this man has already made a will leaving his civil partner his estate then, what will an engagement or marriage prove that he hasn't proven already.

Marriage is a legal document of convenience, nothing more as I assume that both have been married before so what is the point of two people signing on the dotted line in some Registry Office. If they love each other or simply enjoy being together for the longer term then that should be enough unless, either party is too old fashioned to accept living in sin.

As for cultural differences, of course they exist, but you haven't said whether either of them is devoutly religious or under any peer pressure to get married. Live for the moment is my idea and if you laugh more times than you cry then, your relationship is a success and you don't need a piece of paper to prove that.

Good luck to both of them is all I can say further.

fred
Super User!
Super User!
Posts: 1048

Postby fred » Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:46 pm

Hi

Don't get it, what are the legal hassles involved in a wedding?

If it's who I think it is then he has already demonstrated considerable commitment.

So what is the impediment to marriage, does Bulgaria have laws that dictate how the estate of a married couple should be split? Can a will override these laws?

If the answer to these two questions is yes and no then I can see why not getting married would be the way to go and engagement would go some way to demonstrate a level of commitment.

If the answer to these questions is yes and yes or even no and yes then I can't see what the problem is with getting married.

If the answer to these two questions is no and no then that is really confusing.

Maybe I am missing the point here, is it bigamy we are talking about, is that the problem.

Is it legal to become engaged when you are married to someone else, not sure of the law here at all.

Hope this helps.

Cheers Fred.

User avatar
ChrisF
Super User!
Super User!
Posts: 1190
Location: Veliko Turnovo

Postby ChrisF » Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:23 am

There are indeed inheritance laws in Bulgaria, as there are in many European countries, and these dictate how the estate of the deceased should be split. These laws can NOT be overruled by a will, so there is good reason to get married, as a spouse will then inherit at least 50% of the estate

Chris


Return to “General Discussion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests